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Walking Boldly

April 18, 2016
By Shasta Kaselak - Mommy Moments (shastakaselak@gmail.com) , OVParent

God set me on a path, and I've fought Him every step. Years ago, He started prodding my heart about homeschooling. I put my fingers in my ears and shouted, "I can't hear you! I can't hear you!" like any mature, Christian woman would do.

I've come a long way since then, but recently I was reminded that I have a long way to go.

Although I'm about to finish my second year of homeschooling, I still battle the label "homeschooler." Although God clearly wants me to do this, I still try to hide it from people. Although I've witnessed my kids' faith grow in mighty ways, I still call myself a "reluctant homeschooler" to everyone who asks me about it.

A few days ago, it hit me. I am a coward. I would rather be liked by man than walk boldly the course set out for me by God. Sure, I'm walking the course, but my head is hanging low, my feet dragging and I'm constantly asking God, "Did I go far enough? Can I be done now?"

What if Mary had reacted that way when the angel Gabriel told her she would bear a son? She wasn't married. She knew she would be ridiculed and shamed.

Thankfully, she responded, "I am the Lord's servant," and later she broke out in song!

I realized my sour reaction to God a few days ago, when I had the opportunity to talk with a mom who is feeling God's first tugs on her heart about homeschooling. I told her that I would NEVER do it if God hadn't made it clear that He wanted me to. As I said it to her, I made it sound like a duty to follow God's will. I didn't make it sound like a joy. I certainly didn't sing like Mary did.

No more. You will not hear me call myself a "reluctant homeschooler" anymore. From now on I will tell people that I homeschool. I will tell them the truth about it: I see my kids growing in ways they wouldn't otherwise. Yes, it's hard. Some days it's ugly. Many moments it's beautiful. It's even been fun. It's something I never thought I'd do, but I'm glad to follow a God who isn't predictable, who calls the most unlikely person, and who is patient with His stubborn daughter.

Shasta Kaselak is a St. Clairsville native who lives in Chagrin Falls, Ohio, with her husband, two sons and daughter.

 
 

 

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