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You Want to Do What Again? A Homeschool Dilemma

October 6, 2015
By Shasta Clark - Mommy Moments , OVParent

My son threw me for a loop, and boy, did it send me reeling.

Before I tell you what he said, I need to catch you up on our school saga, Cliffs Notes version. It's a little crazy, so hang on.

My kids have gone to public school - a great one, I should add - but when my eldest son was going into second grade, I felt a strange prodding on my heart to homeschool him. (I know. It made me gulp, too.) In reality, it was part-time homeschool because he attended a two-day-a-week school, and I homeschooled him the other three days. We did it for only one year. Then he went back to public school.

This year, my middle child was going into second grade. He adores his big brother and wants to be just like him, so he asked if he could be homeschooled for second grade, too. This was not an issue. I agreed right away to homeschool him because I wanted to spend a year investing into his heart, mind and soul, just as I had my eldest son. My year was shaping up well: one in public school, one being homeschooled and one in preschool.

Here's what threw me for a loop:

Around July, my eldest son asked to be homeschooled again. After he asked, I did the mature thing: I ignored him, and we went to the pool. As summer went on, he asked more. I ignore him more, and we went to the pool more. Until finally, he started giving me reasons like, "Mom, it's a good education and a Christian school. Why wouldn't you want me to do that?"

Dang it.

Here's the problem. I loved the homeschool year I had with him, but I'm not a homeschool mom. I like traditional school.

We live in a small community where, starting this year, my son could walk home from school with his friends. I was really excited for him to do that.

The more persistent his request became, the more I started to wrestle with myself. "How much should I listen to my 9-year-old son?" "He'll have to return to public school eventually, so is it messing him up to keep flip-flopping him in and out of schools?" "What about his friendships? Will they suffer?" And the biggest one: "I can't homeschool two kids! I'm not a natural, this-is-my-heart's-desire homeschool mom."

The clock was ticking. School was about to start. I needed to make a decision.

So I prayed - not wimpy prayers either. I fell on my knees, cried some tears and asked God to HELP. I told God that I don't want to screw up my son. (I really said those words.) And you know what he did? He answered in the most clear-as-day, the-big-star-is-shining-in-the-sky-all-you-have-to-do-is-follow-it way. I love when He does that.

God sent a very wise man, who knows education and who knows God's word, into my life at that very moment. This man had been a stranger to me until that time. I didn't even know his name.

Then suddenly, he was in my life in a real way. When I told the man that I was afraid I couldn't do this, he said, "Good! That's exactly where you should be. If you aren't broken, you won't be on your knees seeking God's help."

Now here I am. I'm broken, on my knees, feeling scared, excited and thankful; and, I'm homeschooling, again.

My prayer is this: "Lord, you trusted me to raise this boy. He is yours. You love him even more than I do. Continue to give me peace that I won't screw him up, and help me to remember your promise, 'I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.'"

Shasta Clark is a St. Clairsville native who lives in Chagrin Falls, Ohio, with her husband, two sons and daughter. Her email address is shastakaselak@gmail.com.

 
 

 

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